tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
