Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
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Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
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I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you never un-have a 4some
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