Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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