Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
