If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
