ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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