I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
