There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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