i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
