Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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