i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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