my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
