So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
