we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
