dude i'm inner monologue high
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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