i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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