he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
