So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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