My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just want nice things and good sex
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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