This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
