i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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