Pappa wants mamma naked
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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