I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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