so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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