soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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