You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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