I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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