woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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