I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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