i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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