the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
