Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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