your room smells of hookers.
And success
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's blow job season.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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