It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
