I accidentally burped into my bong.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
