okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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