At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
