How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize