I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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