i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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