ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
