went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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