I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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