I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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