But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
