so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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