I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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