its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
