look no pants
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
