He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
