You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
