Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
