My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
there is glitter all over my balls
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
