Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
