Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.

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(516): View more from New York

I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here

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(607): View more from New York

I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast

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