I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
