Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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