why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
