aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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