he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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