I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
