I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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