Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
