Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
