I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize